A year ago, in my wildest dreams, I never could have predicted the unexpected turn (or should I say fall) 2018 would have in store for me. In literally one quick second, everything changed. I had a bad accident.

In my case, I fell out of a moving golf cart, shattering my right leg and ankle. This resulted in excruciating pain, major surgery and required 14 pieces of metal - rods, plates and screws - to put me back together. Crazy. Unexpected. True. I have been out of commission and on the road to recovery for six months and three days (but who is counting) and my doctor says it will be at least another six to go before I am functioning like the real me. Just in case you are wondering, I was not drunk. And for the record, I don’t play or even like golf. My golf-loving husband and I were playing in what was supposed to be a fun social event. He was driving the golf cart when the mishap occurred. He has been by my side, super supportive and taking great care of me every day since

Not how the night was supposed to end
AND
Not where or how I planned to spend my summer

Overnight, I went from being an independent, very active and on-the-go mom, wife and health coach to spending months largely confined to a hospital bed in our living room, unable to climb the stairs, walk or drive, and heavily medicated for severe pain. My days were filled with a constant rotation of visiting health professionals and caregivers. I was completely dependent on everyone for everything. Even the simplest tasks were difficult and painful. I felt helpless and dependent. I had no choice but to put my whole life on hold. I needed to do everything possible to get better - and healing and taking care of myself became my priority.

“I get knocked down. But I get up again. You’re never going to keep me down.”

Fast forward. Over the past 6 months, I have been doing everything possible to help my recovery. I have made tremendous progress. Today my doctor told me every time he sees me I continue to improve by leaps and bounds. But it’s a very SLOW healing process and I still have a ways to go. Small steps (no pun intended). I am striving to stay positive and keep perspective. The weather is colder now and the influx of dinners, visitors and check-in calls are long gone. A big portion of my days is dedicated to doctors, physical therapy and strength training. The huge milestones of being able to walk (very slowly), and drive, brought on the return of my hectic schedule, responsibilities and obligations. I am trying to balance healing with family and work. The challenge is, I am not operating at full capacity and everything is overwhelming, harder, tiring and more stressful. My to-do list is so long plus I am playing catch up from all of the stuff I couldn’t do while bedridden. Worst of all, I still can’t exercise like I used to. Exercise has always been my number one outlet and go to for mental and physical release, weight management, and sanity. Right now, my whole body is very week and the fastest I can go on a treadmill is 1.7 and that’s only for a short distance and really pushing it. This is my reality.

I feel fortunate to be a certified holistic health coach and have the knowledge and tools to apply to my healing process. The BEST project you’ll ever work on is YOU. I believe treating my injury through a holistic lens - looking beyond the physical injury and exploring all areas of my life that need special attention - mind, body and spirit, is helping my healing process immensely.

I’ve gone through lots of ups and downs, and I’ve learned a lot along the way. It isn’t all bad. There is some good stuff too. Here are some of my takeaways.

Healing is Holistic
My accident has given me the opportunity to learn more about my own anatomy and body. Before this, I did not even know where my tib, fib and femur were. But falling off the golf cart and all of the trauma and aftermath that followed wasn’t just about broken bones, scars and physical damage, it’s had a major impact on my “whole” body. Throughout every stage of my recovery, I have drawn from my knowledge and arsenal of strategies to improve my “whole” health-eating and hydrating properly, getting adequate sleep to help the healing process and focusing on self-care. I also began writing in a gratitude journal and meditating to a great app called insight timer to create positive energy. There was no doubt I needed the hard core medication for my pain. But I feared the potential long-term dangers and incorporated alternative pain remedies such as deep breathing exercises, deep tissue massage and acupuncture to help me get off the meds as soon as possible. Treating myself holistically has helped me to cultivate gratitude, mindfulness and perspective, maintain a positive mindset and to better understand my body and mind and what it needs to heal. My injury and recovery experience has given me a front row seat to the holistic approach and has reinforced its benefits. It has also opened my eyes to better ways to help my clients in my health coaching practice.

Let food be thy medicine...
Since so many people were kindly preparing meals for me (lots of casseroles) and I couldn’t exercise, whenever possible I made it my priority to eat very healthy. What I put or didn’t put into my mouth was one of the few things I could control. When I was in the trenches, I knew eating the “right” foods and hydrating myself properly were my key to a successful healing process. And it was. I fueled myself with a variety of local and seasonal fruits and vegetables, whole foods and balanced and nourishing meals. A morning highlight was fresh green juice made with ingredients picked from my own garden. Eating the right foods for my unique situation helped to nourish and fuel me with energy and nutrients and aide in my digestion, weight management and brain clarity.

But to be honest, I also treated myself guilt-free to my get well goodies— Magnolia’s Banana Pudding, Country Sweet and Zabar’s babka are too good to resist. I also enjoyed lots of Grasshopper Pie ice cream from Pittsford Dairy. My treats didn’t clear up my problems, but it sure helped :)

A gift hand-delivered from a stranger. It’s the little things that matter the most.

Gratitude
It could’ve been worse and I am grateful it wasn’t. It goes without saying, I am beyond thankful for the enormous amount of love and support from my family, friends, neighbors and even strangers. Near and far and new and old. I truly appreciate every single person in my life who has brightened my days throughout this journey. It’s also a great reminder of how lucky I am to still have my parents and for them to be nearby.

People are my best medicine
I love being around people and the feeling of connectedness. The greatest gift of all was being forced to stay put, slow down, focus, unplug from social media, and have quality face-to-face time and meaningful conversations with family and friends. Seriously, these positive interactions eased my pain in ways my opioids never could. I recognize now, no matter how busy life gets, the importance of making real time for the special people in my life.

Whatever your struggle is, you don’t have to conquer it alone
Get the help you need and don’t settle for anything but the BEST. I have surrounded myself with an amazing, large and supportive team of health and medical professionals who have been caring and cheering for me every step of the way. I would never be where I am without them and am very grateful.

It’s OK to ask for help and let people do kind things for you
This was a hard one for me. I am usually the doer and not used to being on the receiving end. I had no choice but to learn how to graciously accept the meals, rides, errand running, help at home and the tremendous outpouring of kind gestures. As much as I felt helpless and dependent, I loved going months without grocery shopping, cooking and housework. This is so cliche, but I got to see who my true friends really are.

When all else fails, make it into a teaching moment The accident has clearly taken a toll on me, but it hasn’t been easy on my whole family. I’m older and experienced enough to know life is not always fair. But for my children, ages 10 and 11, this became a harsh new reality. They had no choice but to take on new roles and help around the house and help me. Imagine that! I missed their overnight camp drop off and visiting day, we had to cancel our family vacations, we couldn’t go all out with our typical Halloween decor and celebrations, and the list goes on. The worst was the flood of tears on my son’s face when we shared we were not able to bring home the dog he was promised for his 10th birthday. How could I train a new puppy, when I couldn’t even take myself for a walk? I used these moments to demonstrate the importance of family, how we need to stick together, be strong, help each other and make the best of the situation. I assured them there will be more disappointments and curve balls thrown our way - and this will help make us stronger for the next time. At the same time, they learned to be more empathetic and saw me through a different lens-not just as their mom, but as a real person with needs and emotions. This brought on more bonding, cuddling and to my joy, two new roommates. While I was stuck downstairs for months sleeping in a hospital bed, my boys set up makeshift beds and slept next to me every night.

Healing is not linear
Patience. Perspective. Everyone says, you are strong, you were in such good shape, you are going to get back to yourself in no time. I will. I know I will. Nothing is going to stop me. But this healing process is so SLOW. There are days when I feel like I’ve made huge progress and there are others when this whole process feels like it’s taking forever and I’m discouraged and depressed. My leg not working right has led to new problems with my knee, hip, toe and even wrist. And once one thing is feeling better, something else is wrong. I am trying to focus on how far I’ve come, but sometimes I lose sight of that too. I’ve learned I need to re-frame expectations and let go of the “shoulds”. I recognize the importance of breaking things down into small parts and celebrating my accomplishments - even if they are super small.

I’m back. Sort of. Kind of.
As I head into the new year, I am grateful to be on the mend and that the worst is behind me. I am eager to turn the page and begin the next chapter, but this part of my story isn’t over. I have lots of work to do in 2019 to get myself back on track. I would’ve thought being a health coach and having a strong personal and professional support team, coupled with my best intentions and effort, I would be doing okay by now. I have a confession to make—sometimes I am and sometimes I’m not. Real healing is exhausting, tiring, hard and time consuming. This rocked my world. The truth is I am an ordinary person and the struggle is real. Although my bones are healing, I am so weak. My emotions go up and down. And not being able to exercise, coupled with a lot of emotional eating, has led me to be my heaviest weight ever. I have to embrace that this is my reality right now. I am a work in progress and I am okay with that.

I refuse to let this bring me down. I am going to be kind to myself with no judgment. I am determined to begin 2019 with a positive mindset and focus on how far I’ve come and embrace what lies ahead of me.

It's ok if you fall down and lose your spark, just make sure when you get back up, you rise as the whole damn fire
-Collete Werden

My goal is to get back to functioning on a normal level and eventually to be even stronger than I was before.

I will set small attainable goals and stay focused and committed. I will continue to celebrate my body healing and gaining strength, and all the small victories and accomplishments along the way. To hold myself accountable I will be posting and blogging about my road to recovery and my comeback. I hope you will please follow and support me. And hopefully, I will inspire you too!

Let’s do this together
Whatever your health goals are, please let me help you. I’ve learned so much through my experience and believe I am now even better able to help you understand your challenges and meet your goals. I know first hand how scary and challenging it can be to take control of your health. Accountability is key. Let’s do this together and make 2019 our healthiest and happiest chapter yet. Happy holidays xo